WATXM 34 has a serious case of ADHD; it can’t focus on any one fight for a decent amount of time. Unless you read this comic slowly, it’s hard to keep track of what’s going on. It tries to touch on all the side stories, but it does little more than reference them. In previous issues, the only thing I truly enjoyed was the character work with Kid Omega and Idie. Here, they’re mostly ignored in favour of unfunny jokes, illogical strategies and the most confusing cliffhanger I’ve seen in a while.
If you’re reading this review, I’m going to assume you know what’s happening in the story. This issue is one giant fight scene anyway. You should also know that I’m really not enjoying the Hellfire Saga, and that I’m ready for it to just end. As a proper review would just repeat the same things I’ve been saying already, let’s do something different today. Let’s break down the stupidity page by page.
Page 1 – What is with the girl in the kid hellfire leaders anyway? All she ever talks about is killing and maiming things, and it’s getting old. In fact, she may be the most annoying of the bunch.
Page 2 – What’s the point of Iceman making a giant GUNDAM/Voltron robot thing instead of an ordinary ice golem? It’s not helping him shave his childish image.
Page 3 – Meh
Page 4 and 5 – This two page spread is relatively harmless, although the cartoony look lessons the tension in what is supposed to be an epic set piece.
Page 6 – Ok, not only did Iceman make himself a GUNDAM robot, but he’s made an ice control room on the inside? Maybe Jason Aaron’s been watching too much Power Rangers lately. Also, the X-Men are plowing through the volcanic Krakoas way too easily. Why was the original such a threat to begin with if Rachel can tear one apart telekinetically?
Page 7 – When Wolverine was fast-balled into the volcanic Krakoa’s mouth, why wasn’t he vaporized by the liquid rock? Because that kind of kills some people. Even his outfit is completely intact. This is cartoonish.
Page 8 – The black hellfire kid’s sarcasm is so far the only enjoyable thing in this comic. And Kade Kilgore’s motivations are getting very confusing.
Page 9 – So Kid Omega can make any kind of psychic weapon he wants now? And why punching gloves? Also, this fight scene is moving so fast it’s difficult to gather any sense of motion or any emotional investment.
Page 10 – If Idie can burn away Infestation’s bugs that easily, why does she bother sending more? And that line about what love looks like as toad’s being strangled … ugh.
Page 11 – If it hurts to phase through everything in the school, why didn’t Kitty Pryde jump over the table instead or bother with the likely unlocked doors? I’m sure she’s physically capable of doing these things. Also, let’s throw in more humiliation toward the Krakoa volcanoes, thus wasting all the build up at the end of the last issue.
Page 12 – Is that supposed to be Sabertooth or Windigo? It looks kind of half-way between them. Either way, it’s just wrong. Also, why does Mystique bother shooting Wolverine? Those bullets would affect any of the other characters more than him. And Angel’s wings are supposed to be metal. Why are they feather here?
Page 13 – Beast is taking on Windigo alone? What ever happened to the Hulk level threat? And I know it’s been said that Life Seed Angel doesn’t have unlimited energy, but exactly where did he spend most of it? Where is this “Don’t have much to spare” coming from? There’s been so little character progression with anyone in WATXM that you could say pretty much anything about anyone.
Page 14 – Just no.
Page 15 – What? He’s not dead yet? At least the other kids are starting to grow tired of him too.
Page 16 – It’s official, Kade Killgore is completely bonkers. And oh right, the alien scientist exists.
Page 17 – Even though I haven’t read much of Generation X yet, I detest Husk’s portrayal here. This comes completely out of nowhere.
Page 18 and 19 – I joined these together because on its own, Page 17 is inoffensive enough. But Wolverine’s Krakoa is saving Kid Omega in the middle of the school on one page, and on the next, he’s shown facing off against two volcano Krakoas in the water outside. I’ve completely given up on any sense of time in this comic. On the plus side, the other kids have finally had enough of Kade’s antics and are turning on him. It makes them a little less hate worthy.
Page 20 – Ok I’m really confused. What exactly has Kade won?
Don’t buy this comic.